White Day: The Valentine’s Day Sequel You Didn’t Know You Needed

Valentine’s Day is cute and all, but have you ever heard of White Day? If not, let me introduce you to one of East Asia’s most fascinating (and very heteronormative) love traditions—one that, with a little tweaking, could totally work for the gay community.

What Is White Day?

White Day happens on March 14, exactly one month after Valentine’s Day. It’s mostly celebrated in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and China, and the idea is simple:

• On Valentine’s Day (Feb 14), women give chocolates to men—either romantically (honmei-choco) or out of obligation (giri-choco for co-workers and friends).
• On White Day (March 14), men are supposed to return the favor—traditionally with white-colored gifts like marshmallows, white chocolate, or more expensive presents (think jewelry, designer goods, or expensive dinner dates).
• There’s even an unspoken rule that the return gift should be three times the value of what was received. (No pressure, right?)

In other words, White Day is basically “Valentine’s Day, but make him work for it.”

How Did White Day Start?

Like most traditions that involve gift-giving, White Day was a brilliant marketing stunt. In 1978, a Japanese confectionery company decided that men needed to return the love they received on Valentine’s Day. At first, they promoted marshmallows as the ideal gift (the holiday was originally called Marshmallow Day). But since not everyone is obsessed with marshmallows, chocolate and other luxury gifts quickly took over.

South Korea and other East Asian countries adopted the custom, and now, White Day is widely recognized—but mostly in straight relationships.

But What About the Gays?

Here’s the problem: White Day assumes a one-way gifting system where women do the chasing and men decide whether to reciprocate. That’s cute for the straight shōjo manga crowd, but for gay men? Yeah, we need an upgrade.

White Day for Gay Men: Let’s Flip the Script

Instead of making White Day about heteronormative obligations, we can turn it into a fun excuse to show appreciation in dating and relationships. Here’s how:

• White Day = Round Two of Valentine’s Day – If you and your boyfriend exchanged gifts on Feb 14, why not use March 14 as a second round? Maybe one of you planned Valentine’s, and now it’s the other’s turn to surprise.
• Make It a Fun Dating Challenge – If you’re single and dating, set a challenge: Go on a date for Valentine’s, and if it goes well, White Day is the second date! No need for chocolates—just use it as an excuse to meet up again.
• Luxury Edition: Upgrade Your Gifts – White Day gifts are traditionally fancier than Valentine’s (think designer goods, premium chocolates, or a nice dinner). This could be the perfect “splurge” day if you and your partner like spoiling each other.
• Friends, Lovers, and Everyone in Between – In Korea, April 14 (“Black Day”) is for singles who didn’t get anything on White Day or Valentine’s. Why not create a gay White Day meetup with friends? Whether it’s a bar night, a dinner, or a gift swap, it’s a great excuse to celebrate love in all forms.
• Make It a Dating App Challenge – If you’re chatting with someone but haven’t met yet, White Day could be the perfect icebreaker. “Hey, White Day is coming up—how about we make it our first date?” Smooth, right?

Final Thoughts: White Day, But Make It Gay

Traditions evolve, and White Day doesn’t have to stay a straight couple’s holiday. Whether you’re celebrating with your boyfriend, taking a situationship to the next level, or just spoiling yourself with fancy chocolate and a spa day, it’s a fun excuse to show love—no matter your relationship status.

So, whether you’re sending flowers to your crush, planning a date, or treating yourself (because self-love is hot), Happy White Day! 💙🍫